Tip 2: Be careful of "spouse jokes".

Ever heard the joke, "Take my wife... please!" Hmmmmmmmm, "spouse jokes", a very tricky area. Tread carefully! Now don't get me wrong, Josh's sense of humor is one of the qualities that endeared me to him. I heartily encourage friendly joking, but never at the expense of your spouse's good name or honest efforts. For example, it can damage your spouse's good name if you say, "He couldn't come to church today because he drank too much last night." Also, saying "My wife failed Driver's education twice" could seriously hurt if your wife tried as hard as she could.

Early in my dating relationship with Josh, I let him know my sensitive joking areas and why they were sensitive:
1. My intelligence (or lack of): When I was in high school, I was called an airhead a lot. In a way I was; I didn't understand science and math very well, even though I tried really hard. Honor roll wasn't as easy to me, as it was to my friends.
2. My weight: What can I say, you just don't go there!
3. My ability to keep house: One of my wishes is to present a neat warm home for Josh to come home to. Unfortunately, I am not naturally a neat freak and some nights I don't get home until 7:oo pm. After nine hours of chasing around eight one year olds, the last thing I feel like doing is the dishes.

These sensitive areas all have something in common; they are things I don't have complete control over, and I work hard to overcome them. So what is a safe joking area? Well, for me I love it when Josh teases me about a quality I know he loves about me, like being silly, child-like (I am a preschool teacher so it is a necessity to my livelihood), and a garage sale addict (He likes it when I bring him home a silly t-shirt or a good book). I joke with Josh about being a book worm and computer geek, but only after he knew that those were things that impress me. By the way, I asked Josh if I could type the above sentence. A good rule of thumb, check before (preferably before) and after (if it was impromptu) you tell a "spouse joke". This doesn't mean that shortcomings can never be discussed with your spouse or others. If there is a true concern approach it with care and not mockery. That is the humor that "works for us"!

Katherine Bissey

p.s. I've decided to add a feature to each blog entry called: "What Josh is eating!"

Devil's Chicken (or steak)

Josh referred to this dish as "revelatory", which means a specific flavor was obvious.

2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
3 tablespoons Tabasco sauce
1 tablespoon black pepper
Juice from one lime

Mix the last three ingredients and pour over chicken to marinate (12 hours)
Put chicken over hot grill. Bring the remaining marinate to a boil and use to baste the chicken after each turn for about 10 minutes.

This chicken is extremely spicy so have some water on hand!

Marriage: What Works for Us

As I drive home from work and pull into my driveway,I sometimes pump my fist and say "Yes!" Why? Well, because I get to see my husband, Josh. Sometimes he greets me before I even get into the house. As I get that hug and kiss, I think "I love my life!" I got to marry my best friend!

I'm no marriage expert. I don't have any degrees in psychology or marriage counseling, I've been married for just four years, and this is only my first marriage (and last!) Josh and I have methods or tips that "work for us"; some are obvious; some are unique or even silly. They might not work for you and your spouse, but they "work for us".

Every week I will add a tip with an explanation of why and/or a description of how.

Tip 1: Always say "thank-you" for everything, even if it is something you expect him/her to do. When I bring Josh something as basic as a bowl of ice cream or tabasco sauce (not together) His "thank-you" sounds sincere and sometimes excited." His thankfulness always makes me feel appreciated and anxious to do more for him. Saying thank-you might seem glaringly obvious, but it is something we often forget to do in our busy lives. So, say "thanks" with sincerity and a smile.